A Brilliant Model - Not a Typical Orphanage

So many people tell me that their dream to is to build an orphanage for children in Africa or some other place in desperate need. I understand that the person's intention is to do good, to rescue children, but I am exceptionally frustrated by this idea that creating yet another orphanage is mistaken as "good". I have now visited dozens of orphanages and I can tell you there is almost no such thing as a "good orphanage".

Orphanages do exist, but to create more of them is a BIG mistake in almost any situation. In most cultures it is the extended family and/or community that takes in orphanages and others, from the community, church, government and other organizations can provide vital support to make these informal adoptions work. But many countries have created and embedded the practice of creating institutional care to take in orphans. I liken this situation to prisons - it is a "build them and they will come" scenario. And, once these institutions are built and filled, this sadly becomes a long-term status quo - out of sight, out of mind. And then to try to de-institutionalize children, reintegrate them into families and communities after years of living in an institution where they did not develop bonding, full physical/cognitive/social or language development, these children do NOT transition smoothly back into a family/community or society that they have never been a part of.

HHI strives to offer orphanages training and support to improve the care they offer to the babies and children in them, though it is not our goal to jsut make "better orphanages". Our ultimate goal is to undermine why these institutions exist in the first place, reasons such as intractable poverty and women not having any knowledge or say about family planning.

I was excited to have jsut learned about a brilliant model that bridges the gaps for orphaned children and their extended families and communities. Check out this article in the New York Times, "Death in Birth: Fragile Tanzanian Orphans Get Help Aften Mothers Die." This is a creative solution that includes families and ensures a successful reintegration of children who are tragically orphaned.

PA Pulls Through ~ Golfing for Good!

All our teams, ready to roll!

I must admit that after a very long winter of hearing that everyday our collective "sky is falling" further, I questioned whether we should even have our yearly golf benefit this year. But, I was heartened and inspired by the overwhelming and resounding encouragement - in words, actions and funding - that poured in from HHI's friends on the East Coast. Our Golf Committee gathered their forces, our friends and our families all rallied, and yesterday an amazing event was held! HHI's 4th Annual Golf Outing & Lunch was hosted at the beautiful Downingtown Country Club and 60 golfers joined us for a day on the links.

See all the great team pictures!

Fun was had by all, some great golf games were played and generous funds were raised! Our auction held items from Tiger Woods - see this! - as well as other golf greats Phil Mickelson and Sean O'Hair, and featured indulgent vacations, gourmet meals, tickets to the Eagles and Phillies, and so much more.

Tiger's glove!!!

Many, many thanks to all who came, from near and far, to make our day fun for everyone involved and the proceeds of which will now touch the lives of over 1,600 babies and children of Hands to Hearts in India!

Group hug for a game well played!

HHI at the Kitchen Table

A visit I made to meet a potential donor last week was reported on in Tactical Philanthropy. See the post, Kitchen Table Philanthropy and see how the world of philanthropy is shifting to become more personal and informal.

Many thanks to both Sara and Sasha.

A Story from Calcutta

I recently received this email which sadly, yet exquisitely illustrates why HHI's education is in such dire need.

Dear Hands to Hearts,

I am so impressed with your work. HOW important and wonderfully successful! Whoever thought this up is a genius and a saint. Several years ago, I visited Mother Teresa's orphanage in Calcutta. (She had passed away before I was there.) I was astonished at the total lack of eye contact, nurturing, and almost deliberate focus to avoid touch or interaction of any kind. I was in the toddler room and it was here
that I observed this. The toddlers were either craving attention as if their life depended on it or they would have nothing to do with us. Turned their faces away with total indifference. I was so shocked but now am starting to understand that the "natural" nurturing of infants is either not always natural and/or is impaired by no nurturing of the mother by her parents, tremendous fatigue from far too much work and malnutrition, as well, and who knows what other factors.

Unfortunately this story does not come as a great surprise to me. I have heard the same story from orphanages around the world. Working as an orphanage caregiver is very challenging, exhausting and under-valued job. It is emotionally overwhelming, and when caregivers do form bonds to the children in their care, it is heartbreaking for them when a child dies or is adopted and leaves. Often, caregivers are told to not form emotional attachments with the children and the consequences are tragic for the caregivers, and even more so for the children clinging to life and desperate to be loved.

I do not choose to believe that these caregivers are heartless, but rather that they shut-down a part of their own humanity to be able to function in a orphanage situation. They work in institutions where they are bombarded with dozens or even hundreds of babies/children who are thrown away, who are often ill or dying, and whose needs they feel incompetent to meet. They have mouths to feed and diapers to clean; water to carry and food to prepare (often after they go to market to buy it); hospital visits to make and medicines to give; noses to wipe, baths to give; toileting to teach and floors to mop; laundry to wash and bugs to shoe away... and the list goes on and on. Over and over and over again!

HHI has a piece of the solution. By empowering women with knowledge, acknowledging the value of their caregiving, teaching how their everyday actions build brain development for a lifetime... these women can and do rise to their best, and the children rise with them.

I look forward to the day when we reach Calcutta, and more to the day when we are not needed at all.

Over 20,000 Children Touched By HHI

I just received the training reports from India from last month and I gasped when I did the math. HHI just reached an astonishing tipping point! That is that in just over three years, with minimal staffing and a very modest budget, HHI has led 173 Trainings for 2,495 women, who are working every day to better the health and development of 20,301 orphaned and vulnerable children!

WOW! Beyond that, all I can say is "Thank You" to all of you who stood with us to make this possible. Miracles happen in small bits every single day, and taken together they add up to make our world a more loving place for all of us.

In The Most Remote Corners of India

Moorthynayakanpatti is an isolated village situated 85 kilometers away from the nearest city in the Theni District in South India. This area is so remote that it only has a few buses that come anywhere near it, which is significant, as this is not an area where people own their own cars. So, when travel is required, it begins with a 1k. walk to the main road, where the bus will pass... at some point in time.

So it has been no small feat for Sujatha, HHI’s Master Trainer, to reach this village to train 32 mothers how to nurture and best care for their babies. Over the last year Sujatha’s work with HHI has become well known throughout this far-flung region, where news travels via word of mouth from one person to the next. This was how a small local NGO, called “NEWS” came to learn of HHI and then tracked down Sujatha, inviting her to come to their village to support their women and children.

The mothers had never heard how critical the early years are for a lifetime of health, relationships and learning. When they learn that 80% of brain development happens by age 5, and that they can influence this with their everyday actions they become very excited. The women quickly embrace the concepts and begin to make eye contact more often, hold their babies more gently, sing to them more, give them massage, and feed them a broader array of nutrients.

The women enjoy Sujatha and the lessons of HHI are simple and make sense to them. They are now building stronger bonds with their babies and children and building their health with love and nurturing. Another success story from the front lines of HHI, and one that is surely being talked about from mother to mother, friend to friend, from village to village… and the goodness grows on in South India!

Thanks to our fundraising friends in PA!

Last night a group of HHI's fans, who gathered to celebrate two of their favorite things - beautiful clothing and Hands to Hearts! It was a win-win, with the trunk show donating 25% of their proceeds to benefit the women and children of HHI.

Sending our appreciation and admiration to the fashionable fans of HHI in Pennsylvania!